Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
