she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
