May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
