id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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