Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Are we still banned from the library?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
