Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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