he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
