And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize