p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
