SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Alive.
So much puke
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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