i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?†This is time sensitive.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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