If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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