I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
