Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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