can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
