I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
smell my finger.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
