I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
