i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
