and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
