I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
