Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
