i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
