She is in my trunk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
