Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
