go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
