Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
