eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
