think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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