Where is the hickey?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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