just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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