where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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