Already got asked if we're dating
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
