I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
