Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
