yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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