i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
