I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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