And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
