I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't want my vagina anymore.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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