should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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