That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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