maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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