That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
