I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
