ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I looked at my own cervix.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
