so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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