If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
