On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
