How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
