I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
