I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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