hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
