..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
