i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize